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an idiot with a shitty sense of humour

davechisholmmusicandcomics:

sixpenceee:

A glitch in the matrix is an experience that proves something isn’t right in the world or sometimes your brain. 

Here are some creepy experiences that are supposedly true as reported by these users. 

  • DEAD BUT NOT DEAD

by reddit user 3clipse

I knew my uncle had died.

My mom had called me and told me the news. It was very sad. She told me in the middle of work and I told one of my coworkers. He expressed his condolences on my loss.

A couple weeks later, my sister mentioned my aunt and uncle doing something. I said “but…he’s dead.” And my sister said no, he wasn’t.

I called my mom. No, he wasn’t dead.

To this day I’m still not sure how much of it my brain imagined and how much was real. Did I really talk to my coworker? Was I even on the phone with my mom at all that day?

It still freaks me out knowing that my mind could fabricate so complete and real a memory like that.

  • WHY DID WE TALK LIKE THAT

by reddit user WittyRepost

Several years ago I woke up in bed next to my (now ex) girlfriend and we had a conversation in fluent French. I got up and got in the shower, and as the water started running I realized, neither of us spoke French. When I got out I asked her about it. She remembered it happening but was as confused as I was. I can’t even remember what we talked about because I don’t fucking speak French. Brains are weird.

  • FORGOTTEN 

by reddit user Joevual

My dad has epilepsy and says that he’ll experience this when he doesn’t take his meds. Sort of like a fugue state. He went to Aspen on a business trip to design a ski lodge and he forgot his meds at home. He was supposed to do a big presentation but he never showed up. His coworkers looked for him for hours until they finally found him walking down the highway in the snow, 8 miles from their hotel. Apparently he had completely forgot who he was, where he was, and why he was there. He figured if he just started walking he could piece things together and figure things out. He snapped out of it when he saw the familiar faces of his coworkers.

  • A DIFFERENT PATH

by reddit user A_lot_of_italics

One day I was walking to work and all of a sudden had an urge to walk a different path than usual. I work downtown in a big city. It was a strange spur of the moment urge to walk a different way that changed my life forever.

I turned into an alley I had never seen before. As I remember it, I made it about fifteen feet or so when an actual “glitch” happened. Everything in my mind scrambled. I felt like I didn’t have a body anymore, just that I was a semi-conscious entity floating through some weird dimension. All of a sudden in the array of different colors and shapes a vision came to me. It was a bunch of strange looking people that in my mind resembled businessmen in suits. They looked startled and panicked that I could see them. One of the “people” made a quick movement and everything turned to black.

When I regained normality, I was on a completely different street. It was the same street that I always use to walk to work. I felt sick, and severely disturbed/depressed.

I’ve never done any hard drugs, never experienced any hallucinations, never have had anything like this happen to me. The weird thing is, when the glitch was correcting itself and I could see those “people” watching me like a caged animal I had the feeling that I knew I was being controlled. It still bothers me very much to this day.

  • A SHARP BEND

by reddit user pistacchio

When I was like 10 or 11 I was going to the beach with my aunt and her friends. There were two cars of us. To get there we had to go through a very large industrial area. We didn’t know the direction, so our car was following the other. Suddenly, they did an unexpected turn and so our driver had to take a sharp bend.

In that moment we heard a very clear, loud voice inside the car saying laughing “Sharp bend, hm?!”. The driver immediately hit the brakes. We looked at each other, puzzled: we all recognized it as a voice not belonging to any of us.

In the very same time, we noticed that the other car has stopped as well. The other driver got out of the car with a scared face and shouted to us: “Did… did you hear that as well?”.

They heard the very same thing inside their car. The area around was full deserted.

  • THE SUICIDE DREAM

by reddit user 47attemptslater

When I was a teenager I had two really intense dreams one night. The first one was about an online friend of mine calling me to say she’d broken up with her boyfriend, and I sang a few lines of Seal’s “Don’t Cry” to her over the phone. The second dream was finding a (real life) friend dead body floating in her bathtub.

I didn’t think anything of it up until I logged online that evening and the online friend came online to tell me her boyfriend broke up with her. I immediately asked if I could call her, and she said no. I remember thinking that it meant something, like I could change it. Not long after, my phone rang, and it was Real Life friend from the dream calling me. I was completely freaked at this point, but talked to her normally… she was just talking about school and shit… up until I realized I heard a splash in the background. I asked her, “Are you in the tub?” and when she said yes I felt like my heart had stopped. I asked her, “What did you do?”. She didn’t answer me right away, and then after a very long pause she told me she’d taken an entire bottle of pills and chased it with mushrooms and vodka. She’d gotten scared waiting for it to hit her… so she called me so she’d hear someone’s voice. I hung up and called 911. By the time they got there she was unconscious, but alive. Today she’s a mom to a beautiful little girl, and she’s ok.

  • NO BRUISES OR SCRATCHES

by reddit user mbalsevich

Was monkeying on the hand rails of a balcony on the 4th floor of my building and fell off, as 2 of my buddies watched in horror.

I remember seeing the concrete floor approaching as I fell head first and thinking “oh fuck - I’m going to break my wrist” (Why my wrist? dunno)

Next recollection is seeing my buddies yelling, from up there, “Are you OK!? ARE YOU OK!?”.

I look up, I say: “What happened?”.

They did not see my actually hit the floor, they just ran outside and saw me already standing looking up.

Not a scratch, not a bruise, nothing hurted. I don’t remember hitting the floor, standing up, nothing. No memories exist for those 1 or 2 seconds.

None of us 3 ever understood what happened. But we all saw it and agree on what happened.

  • MY EYES ARE BURNING

by reddit user ClassicJenny

About 15 years ago my friends parents, Steve and Julie, were woken up at 1am to a very loud THUD that rattled the house. Worried that one of the kids had fallen out of the bunk bed Steve went downstairs to check on them but all three kids were sound asleep and safe in their beds. Julie told Steve to check the house in case of intruders so Steve checked the doors and windows before going outside to take a look.

After ten minutes of investigating the noise Steve came across nothing unusual and went back inside to go to bed. He found his wife absolutely worried sick and she demanded to know where the hell he had gone and what happened. Confused and tired Steve told her he found nothing and tried to calm her down before Julie pointed out that it was now 4am and that he had been missing for 3 hours. Julie had even gone outside to check on him and he was nowhere to be found and didn’t respond to her calling his name. Unable to figure out what happened they returned to bed and slept until Steve had to get up for work in a few hours.

Steve owns a painting business and a couple hours after working on a house he noticed his eyes started to feel itchy, then his eyes started to burn, then after a couple hours his eyes burned so badly that he was holding his eyelids open as to not blink because it felt like his lids were sandpaper against his eyes. His employees rushed him to the hospital and Steve was treated for second degree flash burns on his eyes. He was told his burns were equivalent to staring at a welders torch without eye protection for an extended period of time. His eyes were treated and he was lucky to have his vision fully restored.

________________________________________________________

So that’s all I got for now. You can view the full thread here

So do any of you have experiences like this? A glitch in the system experience?

Make a post and tag “sixpenceee”! I would love to read them and will be reblogging the ones that really make me go “woah”

I love this stuff

(via stoiii)

200 things you can put in my ask AKA JUST INTERACT WITH ME

  • 200: My crush's name is:
  • 199: I was born in:
  • 198: I am really:
  • 197: My cellphone company is:
  • 196: My eye color is:
  • 195: My shoe size is:
  • 194: My ring size is:
  • 193: My height is:
  • 192: I am allergic to:
  • 191: My 1st car was:
  • 190: My 1st job was:
  • 189: Last book you read:
  • 188: My bed is:
  • 187: My pet:
  • 186: My best friend:
  • 185: My favorite shampoo is:
  • 184: Xbox or ps3:
  • 183: Piggy banks are:
  • 182: In my pockets:
  • 181: On my calendar:
  • 180: Marriage is:
  • 179: Spongebob can:
  • 178: My mom:
  • 177: The last three songs I bought were?
  • 176: Last YouTube video watched:
  • 175: How many cousins do you have?
  • 174: Do you have any siblings?
  • 173: Are your parents divorced?
  • 172: Are you taller than your mom?
  • 171: Do you play an instrument?
  • 170: What did you do yesterday?
  • [ I Believe In ]
  • 169: Love at first sight:
  • 168: Luck:
  • 167: Fate:
  • 166: Yourself:
  • 165: Aliens:
  • 164: Heaven:
  • 163: Hell:
  • 162: God:
  • 161: Horoscopes:
  • 160: Soul mates:
  • 159: Ghosts:
  • 158: Gay Marriage:
  • 157: War:
  • 156: Orbs:
  • 155: Magic:
  • [ This or That ]
  • 154: Hugs or Kisses:
  • 153: Drunk or High:
  • 152: Phone or Online:
  • 151: Red heads or Black haired:
  • 150: Blondes or Brunettes:
  • 149: Hot or cold:
  • 148: Summer or winter:
  • 147: Autumn or Spring:
  • 146: Chocolate or vanilla:
  • 145: Night or Day:
  • 144: Oranges or Apples:
  • 143: Curly or Straight hair:
  • 142: McDonalds or Burger King:
  • 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:
  • 140: Mac or PC:
  • 139: Flip flops or high heals:
  • 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:
  • 137: Coke or Pepsi:
  • 136: Hillary or Obama:
  • 135: Burried or cremated:
  • 134: Singing or Dancing:
  • 133: Coach or Chanel:
  • 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:
  • 131: Small town or Big city:
  • 130: Wal-Mart or Target:
  • 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:
  • 128: Manicure or Pedicure:
  • 127: East Coast or West Coast:
  • 126: Your Birthday or Christmas:
  • 125: Chocolate or Flowers:
  • 124: Disney or Six Flags:
  • 123: Yankees or Red Sox:
  • [ Here's What I Think About ]
  • 122: War:
  • 121: George Bush:
  • 120: Gay Marriage:
  • 119: The presidential election:
  • 118: Abortion:
  • 117: MySpace:
  • 116: Reality TV:
  • 115: Parents:
  • 114: Back stabbers:
  • 113: Ebay:
  • 112: Facebook:
  • 111: Work:
  • 110: My Neighbors:
  • 109: Gas Prices:
  • 108: Designer Clothes:
  • 107: College:
  • 106: Sports:
  • 105: My family:
  • 104: The future:
  • [ Last time I ]
  • 103: Hugged someone:
  • 102: Last time you ate:
  • 101: Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile:
  • 100: Cried in front of someone:
  • 99: Went to a movie theater:
  • 98: Took a vacation:
  • 97: Swam in a pool:
  • 96: Changed a diaper:
  • 95: Got my nails done:
  • 94: Went to a wedding:
  • 93: Broke a bone:
  • 92: Got a peircing:
  • 91: Broke the law:
  • 90: Texted: hour ago
  • [ MISC ]
  • 89: Who makes you laugh the most:
  • 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:
  • 87: The last movie I saw:
  • 86: The thing that I'm looking forward to the most:
  • 85: The thing im not looking forward to:
  • 84: People call me:
  • 83: The most difficult thing to do is:
  • 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:
  • 81: My zodiac sign is:
  • 80: The first person i talked to today was:
  • 79: First time you had a crush:
  • 78: The one person who i can't hide things from:
  • 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:
  • 76: Right now I am talking to:
  • 75: What are you going to do when you grow up:
  • 74: I have/will get a job:
  • 73: Tomorrow:
  • 72: Today:
  • 71: Next Summer:
  • 70: Next Weekend:
  • 69: I have these pets:
  • 68: The worst sound in the world:
  • 67: The person that makes me cry the most is:
  • 66: People that make you happy:
  • 65: Last time I cried:
  • 64: My friends are:
  • 63: My computer is:
  • 62: My School:
  • 61: My Car:
  • 60: I lose all respect for people who:
  • 59: The movie I cried at was:
  • 58: Your hair color is:
  • 57: TV shows you watch:
  • 56: Favorite web site:
  • 55: Your dream vacation:
  • 54: The worst pain I was ever in was:
  • 53: How do you like your steak cooked:
  • 52: My room is:
  • 51: My favorite celebrity is:
  • 50: Where would you like to be:
  • 49: Do you want children:
  • 48: Ever been in love:
  • 47: Who's your best friend:
  • 46: More guy friends or girl friends:
  • 45: One thing that makes you feel great is:
  • 44: One person that you wish you could see right now:
  • 43: Do you have a 5 year plan:
  • 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:
  • 41: Have you pre-named your children:
  • 40: Last person I got mad at:
  • 39: I would like to move to:
  • 38: I wish I was a professional:
  • [ My Favorites ]
  • 37: Candy:
  • 36: Vehicle:
  • 35: President:
  • 34: State visited:
  • 33: Cellphone provider:
  • 32: Athlete:
  • 31: Actor:
  • 30: Actress:
  • 29: Singer:
  • 28: Band:
  • 27: Clothing store:
  • 26: Grocery store:
  • 25: TV show:
  • 24: Movie:
  • 23: Website:
  • 22: Animal:
  • 21: Theme park:
  • 20: Holiday:
  • 19: Sport to watch:
  • 18: Sport to play:
  • 17: Magazine:
  • 16: Book:
  • 15: Day of the week:
  • 14: Beach:
  • 13: Concert attended:
  • 12: Thing to cook:
  • 11: Food:
  • 10: Restaurant:
  • 9: Radio station:
  • 8: Yankee candle scent:
  • 7: Perfume:
  • 6: Flower:
  • 5: Color:
  • 4: Talk show host:
  • 3: Comedian:
  • 2: Dog breed:
  • 1: did you answer all these truthfully ?
  • Ugh someone love me for like 5 seconds, thanks.
The Weekend

—The Zone (Feat. Drake)

(via rpatel711)

Just because your pain is understandable, doesn’t mean your behavior is acceptable.

—Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience (via quotes-shape-us)

(via effortlessmess)

retardedwhisperer:

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn’t want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said “I cannot sit here next to this black man.” The fight attendant said “Let me see if I can find another seat.” After checking, the flight attendant r…eturned and stated “Ma’am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class.” About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated “The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class.” Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, “Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn’t want you to sit next to an unpleasant person.” Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

retardedwhisperer:

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn’t want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said “I cannot sit here next to this black man.” The fight attendant said “Let me see if I can find another seat.” After checking, the flight attendant r…eturned and stated “Ma’am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class.” About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated “The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class.” Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, “Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn’t want you to sit next to an unpleasant person.” Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

(Source: redhotsathya, via xxxnamixxx)

darksuntheenderdragon:

moonstruckmod:

bempie:

ask-drunken-lin-bei-fong:

charitywaterproject:



EVERY REBLOG GENERATES 1-5 CENTS DONATION TO CHARITY: WATER
More RE-BLOGS = More DONATIONS = More LIVES SAVED
100% of donations directly fund water projects for communities in need, and we prove each one using photos and GPS coordinates on Google Maps.
$20  = 1 CHILD CLEAN WATER FOR 20 YEARS
CLICK HERE TO GIVE WATER   &  MAKE SOMEONE’S CHRISTMAS
Happy Christmas Everyone,
Richard :-)



REBLOG 5,000,000 TIMES

WHERE ARE THERE SO LITTLE NOTES YOU GUYS
FUCKING REBLOG THIS SAVE SOME LIVES.

Oh okay.

I can’t not reblog.
I care too much.

darksuntheenderdragon:

moonstruckmod:

bempie:

ask-drunken-lin-bei-fong:

charitywaterproject:

EVERY REBLOG GENERATES 1-5 CENTS DONATION TO CHARITY: WATER

More RE-BLOGS = More DONATIONS = More LIVES SAVED

100% of donations directly fund water projects for communities in need, and we prove each one using photos and GPS coordinates on Google Maps.

$20  = 1 CHILD CLEAN WATER FOR 20 YEARS

CLICK HERE TO GIVE WATER   &  MAKE SOMEONE’S CHRISTMAS

Happy Christmas Everyone,

Richard :-)

REBLOG 5,000,000 TIMES

WHERE ARE THERE SO LITTLE NOTES YOU GUYS

FUCKING REBLOG THIS SAVE SOME LIVES.

Oh okay.

I can’t not reblog.

I care too much.

(via chrisprevans)

sandandglass:

The Daily Show tries to help white people understand what it’s like to be stopped and frisked. 

(via feminist-space)

izzetheking:

izzetheking:

my fave movie is spy kids and  my mom uses it against me by asking me to do soemthing and if i dont want to do it she goes.. SPy kids take out the trash
and im ike
Damn it if i dont take out the trash then im not a spy kid so i have to go take out the trasjh

im 26

izzetheking:

izzetheking:

my fave movie is spy kids and  my mom uses it against me by asking me to do soemthing and if i dont want to do it she goes.. SPy kids take out the trash

and im ike

Damn it if i dont take out the trash then im not a spy kid so i have to go take out the trasjh

im 26

(via laughing-burns-calories)